Ground Control to Major Bomb

Epic fail, Cincinnati. That should be the tag always associated with this town. As Mark Twain stated, he'd only like to be here knowing he'd escape the apocalypse for a little while longer. Yeah. Woo hoo. Go us. When I think of Cincinnati, I think of some alcoholic pipedream, which I've had the misfortune of experiencing, where people are so socially pent up that they drink themselves into oblivion, their way to the alter, and wake up 15 years later going "holy shit fuck! What the hell have I done with my life? Too late now!" That's the dream, apparently. New suburbs, cheaply made, overpriced homes, and Ikea furniture.

Why did I start this rant? Why? why? why?! oh yeah. Because I'm doing this instead of filling out my paperwork for the university's review board.

Ok. Back to the subject. This could all be because I'm turning 22 next month, and apparently, that's the start of something. Real life, they call it. If real life is settling down, then shoot me now, Jesus.

That's all I have to say.

Hello, Mediocrity!

Paul Blart: Mall Cop is apparently the number 1 movie in America at this point in time. Fat guy on a segway+ slapstick comedy for, I'll assume, 2 hours. Oh boy! The more I think about my ever increasing contact with what's actually going on in the "popular culture" world today, the more I get sick. Hold on, wait, blogpost on the internet ranting against pop culture? Why don't you get more cliche, you fucking douche?!

Exactly. Instead, I'll talk about how mediocrity reigns supreme in other ways.

-Vegetarians because they have morals.
I have morals, too. Mine are all about hoping you still get cancer.

-American Apparel clothing for men (minus the plain t shirts and hoodies. that is just comfortable)
Yes, if you wear those deep V-cut necks, you definitely have no taste. Straight, gay, whatever. You look like the reject ballerina from a never aired Hall and Oates video. Oh, it's ironic to look like a piece of shit? This brings me to my next point.

-Irony.
Here's why your hipster irony is so mediocre. If you're actually trying to be cool by "not being cool," it's not irony. It's pathetic. So take your 1975 "Jesus loved me at camp" faded T-shirt, rolled up jeans, gigantic glasses ("it's funny cuz I'm a nerd."), love of "undiscovered 'indie'" music, Bape hoodie and shove it straight up your ass. Anytime I see that, all I see is "hold on guys. I swear that once you get to know me, I have a great personality!" Here's the irony: You will always suck at life, and if your fixed gear bikes don't kill you, I hope your post-modern coke addictions will!

-Angry blog posts on the internet by fat pieces of shit from Ohio
Yeah. This is terrible. Those scumbags probably sit around and listen to coal chamber after ranting about how much the "corporate world sucks." Shit, man. Their parents probably even love them and shit!

-Credit Cards
The rest of this century will be about restraint. Take your poor credit rating, because you're already 50k in debt from college, and shove it. If you don't pay in cash, you're not killing trees, and if you're not killing trees, you're just not my kind of person.

- Punk Rock/ Hardcore
Remember that first time you went to an actual punk rock and hardcore show? Yeah. It kicked ass. Some drunk dickbag kicked you in the chest. I've been informed that the new thing is to mix "ironic" electronica with "Screamo" screaming and singing. Let me inform you, folks, that if hell is on it's way, it can not come soon enough. This is beyond mediocre. It's terrible. I lump it in with the general love of mediocrity because, well, quite frankly PEOPLE ARE BUYING THE RECORDS.

I think that's all I've got in me now before my eyes melt out of my skull and I fucking die of hypertension! Sink fast, Let's go!

Once this upcoming week is over,

I will feel much, much better. I will be able to mostly close last year's chapter as a whole. It's something that I've really, really needed for a couple months because I've basically been going through horrendous mood swings over it since the beginning of December. Now that we have the fluff done, let's recap the events that have occurred since Wednesday.

I saw Notorious. Yeah. That's about as exciting as it gets. I laughed too hard.

Well, that's all, folks.

So, the only thing I've been clinging to, desperately, over the past year, is my sense of humor. I've been joking about my life, your life, society's life, everyone and everything, just to keep from completely falling off the deep end, but today, that's all changed. I've been told joking about things makes me a "serious asshole." Well, fuck you.

That's all I have to say. So, for the next week, no humor, no jokes. If you've known me long enough, you surely remember when I seriously WAS a huge asshole. Guess what? I'm angry enough for that to happen, again. Instead, I will just shut the fuck up, rarely talk, and spare the world of that completely intolerable behavior.

The pluses of the day: Found out that my mom doesn't have ovarian cancer, but might have some pretty severe gall bladder problems. It's all trade off, isn't it.

John Q. Public Views Washington

Well, fear is already creeping up my spine. There's a certain sense of social victory that will be touted around as if we as a nation have accomplished great strides of progress that will lead to limitless bounds of success. It was Hesse (who I will paraphrase liberally) who quoted the fear of people's willingness to be drunk on collective pride, success, and anguish. I'm very much with him, when I see this presidency. I see division. I see pandering to extremes. I see years of hardship and reactionary follies.
So, I do not discredit Obama in the slightest. I just have a good read on the younger generation in particular. They bought into the slogans, but they do not realize the severity of what could start to unfold in the next 4 years. This bothers me to no end. I could feel a sense of entitlement due to victory in the air today. And so, the "you're either for us or against us" mentality begins.

Where To End?

Well, I feel that this is all worth explaining in some moderately public fashion, considering that maybe, at most, 4 people will ever read this, and they'll all be people that I care about. So, here it is. In the last month and a half, I've unfortunately experienced things I never believed I'd have to. I have been humbled in ways that I can barely begin to describe. I've been passing the time by joking about anything and everything. The bottom line is when you've completely fucked up your life in irreversible manners, you just have a streamlined view of where you're heading. This is because you tell yourself and everyone around you that you've clearly hit rock bottom, and the only way to go from here is up. Then, when the pace slows down, every moment of that event comes back in wretched detail. Suddenly, I've remembered every aspect of my car accident, the whole night, all of it. Comparatively, it's like continually walking up a mountain and feeling the coldest wind blow across the peak.

The worst of all of this, for me, has been that for the past 3 weeks, I've been in the best mood that I can recall. This was all brought to a close this weekend due to the fact that my mom has become ill with something. We're waiting on the results. 50/50 that it's ovarian cancer.